stalker

i've been getting texts from an unknown number

here are the transcripts

my replies are in bold

want some dick today?

?

mum i told you not to call me on this phone

yeah your mum was great, but i want to finish the link with you big boy.

my dick has an 11oclock and a one thirty date so you'll have to fit around that

so i'll meet you at the store?

there in half an hour. my dick is in a meeting til then

that's not what dan said

please wash your hands if you're planning on touching mine after holding his monster cock. nah, just kidding... i hear he's really small.

wanna fuck?

you have no idea who this is do you?

i watched you walk home just now

and i want that zanderobe jacket

k, its sam...i just really want that jacket

i can let you wear it while i fuck you but then its going straight to the drycleaner

what about a quick fuck with saxon too

maybe... bring your wallet. it could be an expensive night for you

no... one for you bitch

i hope you didn't speak to my mum like that

your mum is my trophy

you asleep big boy?

just sitting around waiting for your call. i guess i can go to bed now

night

sleep tight

ok

morning cutie...hope your day fuckin kicks ars. make sure you wear that zanderobe jacket cos i know where you live now... just which bedroom?

hey... just a technical point or two. 1)it's zanerobe not zanderobe 2)i didn't walk home yesterday 3)my room is the upstairs one. come over and i'll give you the tour.

shit

shit indeed. hey, before i post this to facebook... who is this?

the girl of your dreams

that's a nice oxymoron

not as contradictory as you think tuff guy

were you just looking that up on your online dictionary

yes

why the fuck did you put my number on facebook?

was that wrong? remember when i said i was going to put your number on facebook? well then i put it on facebook. would you like me to take it off?

nah it just makes it all the more interesting

by the way... nice top

you don't need to see me to know that info. that's a given... but thanks. It's nique by the way... just so you spell it right.

nice poofter pink... just the way i like em

it pays to advertise

so what are you up to tonight? I'm coming back into town, just been away over the last few days.

i thought you'd already know my schedule...

not quite

(my friend receives two texts from this number asking what he is doing tonight)

i thought you were my stalker. leave dan alone

i'm no stalker...i'm someone from within the circle.